I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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