Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
