roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
vagina is talking i cant
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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