Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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