Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I wish there were birth control emojis
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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