so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
