okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
