You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
