I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
