There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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