Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
