u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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