her vagine was all disorganized.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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