Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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