Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
