You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
