this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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