i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
