Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
