you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize