God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
