Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
