I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
