she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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