My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't deserve a penis
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
