is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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