He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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