dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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