she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The beer is more important than you right now.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
