toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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