conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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