I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
