Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
