My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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