Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
