when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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