Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
