I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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