don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
