it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
