I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
