Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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