ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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