craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
