can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
either way he was missing a nipple.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize