dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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