Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
