He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
