literally had 100 drinks last night.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
ttyl tear gas
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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