Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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