Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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