WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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