there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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