If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
