my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
