I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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