My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
