He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
