oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize